Noise

What was with all the noise last night? Did you hear it? Huh? Did you?

Big She put a leash on me, and my first thought was, woof! It's HIGH TIME. It's been a hundred years since I got out of this House! Except when I escape sometimes to the Front Yard to snack on poop. Heh.

Okay, okay, I'll quit mentioning poop on this blog now. Bad dog!

Where was I? Oh yes. Leash on. Door open. Time for a walk? No, we went across the street to Neighbor Bill's house. Guess what? There were 15 people there, all in lawn chairs! I was having a terrific time, visiting people, licking their faces to see what they'd had to eat lately, etc. And then ... Bright lights. And THE NOISE happened.

BAM!

Suddenly I was standing on the exact opposite side of Big She's chair. My neck hurt. And all I knew was, I had to run away, down the street, and catch a bus RIGHT NOW to Schnectedy or something. I don't even know what a Schnectedy is. That's how bad it was. I realized my neck hurt 'cause I was pulling on the leash.

"Uh oh, Daisy didn't like that," said Daddy. Fat lot of good that did me! Thanks a lot, Daddy! Some help YOU are! Next time somebody rings the Magic Doorbell, and you get up to answer it, and you tell me to stay Daisy, but! It's a squirrel! It's a bunch of squirrels! Yeah! And they try to eat you from the legs up! I think I'll hang around watching and then I'll say "uh oh, Daddy doesn't like that!" Real useful, isn't it?

The noise stopped, but I sensed more madness ahead. Schnectedy was looking better and better. Big She stood up. That was good! Panting hard, I tried to pull her down the street. Bus stop! This way! Let's go!

But she's way bigger than me. I hate that about her. We walked/dragged our way to Neighbor Bill's Gate. Big She put me inside, where I was greeted by Slash and Bella.

They took me to the Back Yard, where Slash clued me in.

"It's some kind of ritual," he explained, "where they light little boxes on fire. The boxes make lots of noise and lights and smoke. Then the humans clap and drink that nasty-smelling fruit-water."

I was flummoxed. "Why do they do this?"

Slash shrugged. "It's hot out."

That made sense. Everyone knows humans can't stand the heat. The heat makes them do CRAZY THINGS like push those growly ol' "mowers" up and down the Yard in the middle of the day - a time when we dogs are sensibly napping.

I had a drink out of Bella's bowl in sympathy. Then we whiled away the rest of the night, barking at the Lab across the alley.