Day of the Bath

So, I was Outside, doing my business, just Happy To Be Me. Suddenly I discovered the best thing - my poopy smell was following me! It followed me into the House, into the Kitchen, and down the Hall! O glorious smell!

I decided to share with my beloved humans. I hopped up onto Little She's bed.

Little She wrinkled her nose. "What IS that smell?" she asked Big She.

How I love Little She. It's me! I tried to tell her.

Big She sniffed the air. "I don't know ..."

It's a shame that my humans have such poorly developed noses. It's me! It's me! I brought you a gift! I panted.

What happened next can only be described as a TRAVESTY. Big She rounded on me, and did not look as happy as she should have. "Oh my God, it's Daisy - she has poop all over her butt. Ewww!" Then Big She shooed me off of the bed! Well, really. I was so disgusted, I ran out of the House again, and took out my frustration by barking at the fence.

Then, the doorbell rang! Hurray! I was sure it was Neighbor Bill, coming to take me away from these unappreciative people. I ran inside. ::snap:: Big She put my leash on me! What th ...?

We started to take a Walk through the House. Which was kind of fun. I wondered if I should pee in the Hallway like I would normally pee on the sidewalk. But! Before I could make up my mind, we walked inside the Bathroom, and the terror really began.

Big She closed the door, took off my collar, and ... started the Bath water. Then she picked me up and put me into the Bathtub. Next thing I knew, my butt was under the faucet. Whoaaa! Hands on my butt! Smelly perfumy stuff on my butt! Then more water!

"As long as you're in here, let's do your whole bod," she said. Oh, the caninity. There was no sense in running; Big She blocked me at every turn with her humongously long arms. Humans! How do they stay balanced, so high in the air, with such long arms and no tail? It's so puzzling. Where was I? Oh, yes.

During the bath, she did put her nose next to mine, and then she kissed my nose, and she told me I was a Good Dog. And I thought, You are a Good She and I love you, but you better watch out, because when I get out, I'm going to shake every drop of this water, all over you.

And I did. Heh.